I Don't Care About Your Band

"Klausner takes the heartbreak of romantic failure and turns it into hilarious defeat. I'd love for her to get her hands on depression and apathy, and turn them into a sheet of peanut brittle." - Patton Oswalt This is not an audiobook about successful relationships. This is an audiobook -- and a very, very funny one -- about the humiliations we endure to find love and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage. Inspired by her New York Times "Modern Love" essay about getting the brush-off from an indie rock musician, I Don't Care About Your Band is the true story of comedy writer Julie Klausner's rocky road to romantic enlightenment, brimming with explicit insights that will resonate with any woman who's ever dated the meek, the vain, or the damaged. According to Klausner, "what Sarah Vowell is to American history, I am to guys in their thirties who've never been married, ride their bikes to work, and really like Death Cab for Cutie." By turns edgy and deeply personal -- with rapid-fire humor throughout -- I Don't Care About Your Band shows the evolution of a young woman who endured myriad encounters with some hilariously twisted characters, to emerge with real-world wisdom on matters of the heart. "I wish that, like a big sister, I could have taken Julie Klausner aside and advised her against most of the dalliances in this book. On the other hand, her horrible dating experiences are your laugh-out-loud entertainment." - Rachel Dratch, actress and comedian "I love Julie Klausner. Her stories about how love's possibilities can make a smart woman reckless with her heart are bright, bold, and seriously funny -- the kind of writing where you mean to underline your very favorite lines only to find you've underlined everything." - Diana Joseph, author of I'm Sorry You Feel That Way: The Astonishing But True Story of a Daughter, Sister, Slut, Wife, Mother, and Friend to Man and Dog