Right in the Middle But Left Out

The central theme of this book is how to identify and deal with the realities of incest. Most of the time incest victims have a great deal of emotional, physical, and sexual pain. Too many times it literally takes years and years for a child to work through all the tormenting, and too many times all they can do is subdue it, which makes them deal with it in their thirties and forties. It has a way of compounding all relationships, especially in marriages and parenthood. For the victim, it is frightening and extremely painful as memories keep rushing in. For them, there are self-help books, but for the families of victims, they are victimized by the abusers of the victims. It just becomes a horrifying adventure of not knowing what is going to happen next. Confusion and instability keep everything within a family structure to go into chaos, especially between spouses. There are so very few books for the families of victims, and especially any that deal with Christianity or other religions that have special moral expectations. By no means is anyone ever beyond God's understanding and love, but each person has to deal with these issues for themselves. We are not to judge or demand how anyone else deals with their relationships with God. The problem is, everyone in the family feels too much responsibility, guilt, and anger. The anger is the hardest thing to deal with because it reaches out to others and inward toward oneself.

Each chapter deals with different issues and how everyone is affected by everything that goes on, and that includes both good and bad decisions. My hope is each person learns how to love themselves and everyone else in the healthiest and best ways. The main problem has to be dealt with by the victim, or everyone in the family automatically becomes a victim as well. I wish everyone to gain some form of understanding and appropriate ways to love the victims of incest. Not all times do things always work out the way we would like, and so each of us has to take responsibility for ourselves. Each person has to know themselves and learn to love no matter what happens.