A Man's Guide to Getting it Wrong

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a man in possession of a good relationship must be in want of screwing it up royally. Whether it is because men simply do not know when to keep their mouths shut or due to an unhealthy obsession with his own genitalia, men are by far the weaker sex. And don't we just know it? We're not talking about the scumbags, the sleazebags, the bullies or the drunks. They don't deserve their own story. We're talking about the man fully committed to his wife or girlfriend, the one before all else, who he puts first, the person who, despite his best efforts, will be annoyed with him at least twice a week. Forever.