The Making of a Standup Comedian

Folks, I think you already heard by now that my friend Felix Baumgartner made that death defying twenty-four mile sky dive jump from outer space. Well it was my idea. I had planned to do that historic jump first. But somebody stole my parachute and beat me to the punch. Well, I'm going to do one better. I'm going to go to our nearest planet. I think it's Mercury. I know it starts with an M, no not Mars! It's definitely Mercury! And jump from there to earth. I know it's going to take me a few weeks to get here, maybe even longer but then I'm going to own that record and leave Felix in the dust. So wish me luck. When I get back, I expect a parade and lots of women at my doorstep. And yes, this is another one to bite the dust from my bucket list. See you when I get back. I'll be the Guinness Record Holder just yet, oooooooooo oooooooooo oooooooooo!