It's Time to Stop

Something was missing in Sarah's life...a 'void.' For as long as she could remember there it was...the longing...the emptiness...the need. As a child and well into her adolescence she was very lonely. She struggled, as most adolescents do, with her sense of identity and her place in the world. Her fragile emergence into adulthood is shattered by the sudden onslaught of a ravaging, chronic illness (Lupus) that initially causes the amputation of her right leg. This enables her to bury the 'void'...bury it under her determination to build herself a 'normal' life in spite of the considerable physical disadvantage that she found herself. This determination also enabled her to never really deal with the loss of her limb, her health, or her childhood dreams. The main theme of the story focuses on the relationship between patient (Sarah) and a therapist (Carolyn). During the first five years their relationship was appropriate, professional, and therapeutic with definite boundaries between patient and therapist. For Sarah, Carolyn seemed to have all the answers. She seemed to understand all about Sarah's troubled soul. Carolyn taught Sarah the difference between her thoughts and her feelings. She taught Sarah how to feel those feelings. But as the months went by, Carolyn's kind compassionate, gentle caring became like a drug to Sarah. A drug that finally seemed to fill the emptiness of the 'void'...quench the burning longing. Carolyn not only had all the answers...she WAS the answer! And somewhere along the road they traveled the transference experienced by Sarah and the counter-transference experienced by Carolyn led them onto a path that deteriorated into a dangerous, destructive, and totally inappropriate relationship. A personal relationship developed between the two with no clear boundaries between them. Somewhere within, Sarah knew her relationship with Carolyn was not right. But, blinded by her obsessive need for Carolyn's affection and approval, she turned a deaf ear